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MAXIM ONLINE

Here is an article from MAXIM ONLINE. It's titled, "Not-So-Super Heroes." It lists some of the actors that have played Super Heroes in passed movies. This is before the blockbuster hits of the "X-Men" and "Spiderman". It was in the April 2002 on-line issue. Even though the article kind of rips the actors that played past super heroes, it's good to be mentioned. Remember, I played Ben Grimm, "The Thing" in the ill-fated "Fantastic 4" movie. Hell, I'm mentioned with Sylvester Stallone! Man, you can't beat that!!! Here is the URL to the article:

http://www.maximonline.com/entertainment/articles/article_4623.html

Below is the actual text from the article.

Not-So-Super Heroes

Tights? Check. Cool gadgets? Check. Long and prosperous career? Umm…

Maxim Online, April 2002

By Eric Alt

Right now, comic books are experiencing an incredible surge in popularity and success on the silver screen, and the actors who don the tights can expect a healthy career jolt from their hyper-powered exploits. Wesley Snipes took off after Blade hit big. Hugh Jackman popped claws in X-Men and moved to the head of the class. And critically acclaimed indie actor Tobey Maguire decided that web-slinging was a smart next move. But what about those who went before? Playing a superhero used to be as good for a career as being the second guest on the Joe Franklin Show. Consider this rogues' gallery.

Name: Billy Zane
Alter Ego: The Phantom (The Phantom, 1996)
Aftermath: Relegated to joke-cameo or villainous co-star roles, Billy appeared in Zoolander just so they could use the punchline, "Stay out of this, Billy Zane." Tried to launch some sort of kung-fu/Matrix TV show in which he played a bald (natch) ass-kicker…but damned if we know anyone who's ever watched it. Mr. Zane dropped off the cultural radar faster than a Carradine.

Name: Matt Salinger
Alter Ego: Captain America (Captain America, 1992)
Aftermath: About the only thing Matt can still claim with any sort of pride is that he's the son of famous writer J.D. His filmography reads like the budget bin at Blockbuster-although he did appear as one of the jocks in Revenge of the Nerds. Which one? Ummm…the one who wasn't Ogre or Ted McGinley, that's which one.

Names: Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer
Alter Ego: Batman (Keaton: Batman 1989, Batman Returns 1992. Kilmer: Batman Forever, 1995)
Aftermath: If you've ever played a snowman in a movie, you can't claim to have a healthy career. Michael Keaton has some good roles scattered on his résumé (Beetlejuice, Mr. Mom, Johnny Dangerously), but shortly after donning the utility belt, he nosedived into flop city. Sorry, but blips-playing an overlapping role in the quality crime flicks Jackie Brown and Out of Sight-don't make up for Multiplicity. And as for Val…do the words "Dr. Moreau" mean anything to you? Kilmer went from the brink of superstardom to a string of roles ranging from forgettable to unwatchable (At First Sight had us wishing for blindness, too). Ironically, the star of the hands-down worst Batman movie of the series-that'd be George Clooney of 1997's Batman & Robin for those keeping score at home-has rocketed to the A-list. Go figure.

Name: Eric Allen Kramer
Alter Ego: Thor (The Incredible Hulk Returns, 1988)
Aftermath: Last seen in a made-for-TV movie about Gilligan's Island playing Alan Hale Jr. That's right under "sucked cock for crank" on the list of life's most soul-crushing rock-bottom moments. Eric made quite a splash as the Norse supergod Thor…oh, who are we kidding? You remember him about as much as you remember anything about this Hulk TV movie. We think it had something to do with Bruce Banner getting his ass kicked, and then Lou Ferrigno showing up in purple cutoffs.

Name: Nicholas Hammond
Alter Ego: Spider-Man (The Amazing Spider-Man TV series, 1979)
Aftermath: Remember that live-action Spidey series from the '70s? The one that was basically a soap opera intercut with a stunt man climbing a gym rope on a back lot somewhere in Burbank? Yeah, it was pretty bad. And trying to hold his head above the badness was Nick in the role of Peter Parker. But cut the guy some slack-whoever gave the thumbs-up to the pitch "Let's do a superhero show, only without any action or special effects" should be the one doing vaudeville in hell for all eternity.

Name: John Wesley Shipp
Alter Ego: The Flash (The Flash TV series, 1990)
Aftermath: One of the taglines for The Flash was "The Hero the World's Been Waiting For." How's that? Have you been waiting for a guy in a red suit who can run really fast? We have been waiting for an Amazonian dominatrix who sneezes corn chips and beer, but not a pajama-clad long-distance runner. While the show was above average in terms of effects, Shipp's acting prowess earned him a richly deserved exile as "a parent" on the teenage wasteland Dawson's Creek. Apart from that, he's done some flicks even Cinemax has refused to air.

Name: Sylvester Stallone
Alter Ego: Judge Dredd (Judge Dredd, 1995)
Aftermath: Things were never quite right for the Sly-monster after this debacle. He tried serious drama (Copland), remakes (Get Carter), and sports (Driven), but nothing could wipe away the shit stain that was Dredd. Turning this dark, dystopian comic into a glossy action pic complete with goofball comic relief (care of Rob Schneider) was just one of its many errors-this one's so bad, it's rumored even the guys who made Battlefield Earth snicker at it.

Name: Peter Hooten
Alter Ego: Dr. Stephen Strange (Dr. Strange, 1978)
Aftermath: If ever a comic book hero was born out of an all-night LSD-and-Led Zeppelin 4 binge, it was Dr. Strange. A funky occultist who lives in a swank Greenwich Village brownstone, he was to the comics scene what airbrushed wizards were to vans. However, the made-for-TV movie based on him succeeded really well in capturing in equal parts the creepiness and the trippiness. So it's all the sadder that Peter Hooten's career vanished into thin air faster than a demon fart.

Name: Dean Cain
Alter Ego: Superman (Lois and Clark TV series, 1993)
Aftermath: Dean Cain played Superman. Say that to yourself a few times: "Dean Cain played Superman." HAHAHAHAHA! Current host of the new Ripley's Believe It or Not? (which, without Jack Palance, is just wrong) and the best thing to ever happen to MTV's Rock-N-Jock series, ol' Deaner played Supes as the kind of guy who would have wedgied Jimmy Olsen and then giggled about it with his frat brothers. Not totally off the radar yet, but give him time.

Name: Michael Bailey Smith
Alter Ego: Ben "The Thing" Grimm (The Fantastic Four, 1994)
Aftermath: Well, considering the Roger Corman-produced movie in which he starred has never been officially released and only exists in bootleg form at your local comic shop, the outlook was never good for Michael. On top of that, once Ben Grimm turned into his rocky alter ego The Thing, stunt man Carl Ciarfalio took over, so Mike never got to do even the remotely cool stuff like…um, knock things over. Needless to say, he's still waiting for that Travolta-style comeback.

Name: Lynda Carter
Alter Ego: Wonder Woman (Wonder Woman TV series, 1976)
Aftermath: Ah, Lynda. She will forever be a red-white-and-blue lust object for any male who grew up in the '70s and '80s. We don't need a golden lasso to tell the truth about how slapping starred-studded hot pants on a leggy supermodel was pure genius. Ms. Carter certainly looked like Wonder Woman-milky skin, raven-black hair, "you'll never see me naked" haughtiness-so it's no surprise the role haunts her to this day. Never able to shake the aura of the Amazon, the rest of her acting career is in the "Where Is She Now?" folder. Most recently had a nanosecond cameo in the cop farce Super Troopers.

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